There are four types of people who write poetry: Queers, Homos, Maries, and Fags. Avoid them all like the plague because they all carry the modern-day plague, pixy-dust.

If you don't kill someone every month you're just a part of the problem.

Party tip of the day: 7- If you have a bar, ask me to housesit for you while you go on vacation because your septic tanks can be completely ruined if you leave them sitting too long and you can rest assured that I will give them a heavy workout involving great deals of vomit within any two hour period of being in your house alone.

Party tip of the day: 6- If you have a bar, open it and invite me.

Party tip of the day: 5- If you have an open bar, invite me.

Party tip of the day: 4- Invite the town cobbler association and the knights templers and the blacksmiths and watch as all hell breaks loose in your open bar area.

Party tip of the day: 3- Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I have a gun in my pocket as well and I am totally unabashed in my use of said firearm in matters of protection, hunting, dickery and straight up fun.

Party tip of the day: 2- If you have a wicked shiner and you want to appear as normal at the next party, simply drop a hammer on the floor and fall on it as you make your entrance. Then, blame the faulty door spacing for your fall.

Party tip of the day: 1- Make sure that there's at least a semblance of a party involved if you're just trying to date rape someone. Showing up to a dark, empty alleyway just makes it a little harder to make them drink a roofie colada.

So, good news. As per usual, everything I could expect to have to work for has continued to fall, seemlessly, into my lap. Except for bravery. Still don't have any bravery. Oh well. One at a time I suppose.

I'm getting tired of it. I'm getting sick and god damn tired of it. You fucking douchebags manage to piss the hell out of me every god damn time I turn around. As though it weren't bad enough that you people think that you can just go around doing what you please because other people think you're somewhat cool wasn't enough, now you've got to start with your bullshit. Talking, talking, talking. Do you fuckfaces ever stop? I have fucking had it. And now, more pointless ramblings.